Roommate from Planet Irk
by Irken-Fang
Summary: Is Earth ready for TWO sets of invaders sharing the same base? What's gonna happen? Do I suck at summaries or what? (chapters coming, plz r&r) And I'm havin trouble w/ this comp- plz be patient =>
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I own Jas, but not Zim or Jhonen Vasquez, or Nickelodeon, or the Fairly Oddparents. But it's a great show too, don't ya think??  
  
Invader Jas stalked down the corridor of the Irken battleship that she had called "home" for the last year. Her mission to "Earth" was finally coming together. The invader who would meet her there, Zim, was a good example of a supposed idiot who redeemed himself through hard work and luck- mostly just luck. The Tallests had been quick to resume contact after that one geological survey transmission showed something very interesting. Her SIR-XG100 unit, the most advanced model of organic-computer fusion, lay in its disguised transport case, snoring softly. Its animal shape very much resembled an earth feline, the common domesticated cat. It would sure as hell be a lot more useful than the green-eyed moron Zim had been stuck with. As for the arrangements- at least those were in order. She'd meet Zim at the earth city's primitive version of a spacedock. They'd get to the base, hail Red to assure him that she was there (not that he gave crap about her), and settle in. Jas and "Timmy", as her SIR unit would be called, were soon transported to a receiving platform at the "airport", so it would look like they had been ordinary passengers. Timmy was not pleased at being forced to ride in the cage with a handle that they had been instructed to use, however, and started meowing- loudly. "Shut up, shut up, you..." she trailed off into a string of Irken obscenities, though they translated automatically into whatever language the Earthers spoke. Their startled looks quickly made Jas take her own advice. Sigh. "Never mind." Timmy continued banging around until he tired and started snoring again. Inside the terminal, Jas quickly noticed Zim holding a sign with her Earth name on it. "Janie" -what a dumb sounding name. The two discretely exchanged Irken hand salutes, and then started towards the transport to the base- a "bus" transport unit. Thankfully, it was mostly empty, and Jas congratulated herself on her knowledge of the planet's dark and light cycles. "I hope your trip was uneventful, honored fellow Invader," said Zim as they arrived home, "your help will be appreciated- but why were you sent? I wasn't informed." Jas nodded. Even with the high stakes involved in this mission, Zim did have a right to know. "Well, thanks to one of your geological surveys, a rare and valuable element was found to be plentiful in the planet's crust. R'thiri- the material used in the creation of Irken ship engines- is common here. I need to set up a mining operation and conceal the workings." What she didn't say, however, was that a large part of her job was to make sure that Zim didn't ruin it. The mining setup would be a simple affair.  
  
Finally, Jas, Zim, and Timmy arrived at the base. A boring-looking Earth dwelling, except for the the enormous tubes firmly attached to the two houses bordering it- this could definitely not be a good sign. "The most important thing to do first is begin the process of blending in," explained Zim as he showed Jas a sample of some examples of regional clothing and some info on "human" behavioral customs. Most of it didn't seem too difficult to emulate- good. To blend in and report on human customs sounded like more fun and interesting than simple doom- bringing.  
  
As Zim went to help set up the quarters for his new roommates, Jas was busy studying a hand-held comp unit with designs for human disguises. She stopped at a female model of about 11 human years, seeing as she'd have to accompany Zim to skool as a foreign student. All that would be needed to appear foreign was a slight accent change- the human children were exceedingly easy to fool. "Janie" would have bright yellow hair and green eyes, blue sunglasses, and the same black shirt and gray pants every day.  
  
Without warning, a loud, metallic, screeching noise came from the living room. "Timmy", (the biologially -enhanced SIR unit) was chasing GIR around the room, quite intent on scratching its big green eyes out. Zim appeared, used to Gir's troublemaking behavior. Both Irkens issued a command, and the robot and cyborg instantly retreated to opposite corners, two sets of red eyes narrowed. "Timmy! What happened? I demand that you explain this!" The feline instantly sat up, at attention. "It wasn't my fault, Jas. This crazy piece of space garbage became interested in my tail and started trying to pull it off- stupid thing's a menace." "AM NOT!!" "ARE TOO!!" "NUH UH!!!" With that, Jas got fed up and ordered Timmy to her separate quarters. Even the playful "want belly-rub" dance (cat-owners should know what I mean here) didn't convince her otherwise, and he ran off noiselessly. Gir went to the kitchen to fill his insatiable need for taquitos. Jas yawned- it had been a longer day than she had realized. laying down on the couch, she looked up at Zim. "So, Zim, what are you gonna do here if it turns out we can't take over this place? The mining operations are more valuable than the location of the planet. Though, of course, I'd say it's worth having the Tallests' favor to be prohibited from doing what you do best." Zim shrugged. "Against my better judgment, I've let myself become almost.... attached to this planet, filthy and disgusting it may be-" he shuddered. "I fear sometimes that my superior brain has been taken over by this place." Silence fell. After a few awkward seconds, Jas and Zim parted to their separate tasks- Zim wanted to run a few diagnostics down in the lab, and Jas needed a good night's sleep- tomorrow would be a very busy day. Little did they know. (mwa haha) 


	2. the morning after @_@

Chapter 2:  
  
(I wrote most of this while listening to all kinds a weird musick! Ohyeah and I don't own nuthin!)  
  
  
  
Jas knew it was going to be a bad day when she was jolted awake by what appeared to be a small, light green animal sitting atop her head, eating what she hoped was not what normal humans ate- a yellow shell filled with a gloppy meat sauce and smelling horrible.* "Not-master? Are you up? COME PLAY WITH ME AND LOVELY TACO!!!!!" I'll give you, the wonderful reader, two guesses to figure out who's talking here. And don't cheat. Oh no. "Gir? Zim's SIR unit?" Gir spun his head around a few times, which Jas chose to take as a nod. She yawned. "All right. First of all, don't call me 'not-master'. Second, if you ever, EVER, wake me up at this hour again, I give you to Timmy as a kill-toy. Third, I'm going back to sleep, seeing as I don't have to get up for another-" looking at a timepiece, "three hours." With that, Jas flopped back onto the nice, comfy bed she'd set up for her room. Nothing happened. "Gir. You're still there, aren't you." "Yeeeeeeeep." "And you're not gone, why?..........." The sound of another taco being devoured was her only answer. Jas yawned and went to get some food. Timmy would just have to get hiss kill- toy later. An annoyingly bright-patterned box of "Poop Sugar Crunchy-Wunchy Marshmallow Blasts" caught her eye. Reading the label.... daily caffeine allowance: 110%...... daily sugar allowance: 250%. Perfect. ----- Later, preparing to go to skool ------ "Jas! Jas!! Get off the ceiling! NOW!!" "Can't make me!! WOOOEEEEE!!" Jas had attached herself rather firmly to, you guessed it, the ceiling in the kitchen area. Zim paced around nervously. "We can't be late, Jas! You know it'll look suspicious, and Dib", he emitted a little growl at the sound of his nemesis' name " won't leave me- or you- alone for weeks afterward. Waiting around the corner, with a water balloon- you've never come in contact with water, have you?" Jas shuddered. She had had one experience water, handled improperly, and it had put her out of commission for a month (translated to Earth time). Just as Jas stopped to remember, though, Timmy (who had been mysteriously absent for the whole episode) entered the room. He carried in his mouth a small case with the symbol of the Irken medical force. As soon as Timmy put one of his paws onto the box, it briefly scanned for a DNA match, and as soon as it had finished, . Without causing any further damage, the spider-legs helped her down. She blinked a few times, and seemed to regain her senses. "Damn. I ate sugar again, didn't I?" Zim nodded. He had noticed the empty box of the Poop crunchies on the floor. "Okay," explained Jas, " as you may have guessed, I have a slight allergy to concentrated sugar. But don't worry. I have a way of scanning what I eat to make sure that that doesn't happen again. Must've been tired from the trip, I guess." "Well, I'm confident that you're a good Invader- I read your soldier profile when you were resting- and I know that you're more than competent. We will blend in perfectly, and when the time is right, spread out from our base and conquer this sector! For Glory, Irk, and the Almighty Tallest!!" By this time Zim had, in his excitement, leaped up on top of the fridge in a classic heroic pose. He then fell flat on his big green head. "All right. Let's just go." Zim hoped that the rest of the day would be better than the beginning. He never did believe in human idea of "omens" anyway....... 


	3. Jas' proposal

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